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Sex, Sexuality & Dating

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So who are you going to the prom with? Few things in high school change as quickly as high school relationships. Yesterday we were a couple, today we don’t even speak. And for many teens, issues of sexual identity can come up for question. (Am I bi, straight or gay? What’s the answer today?)

NEW! MY SHED TEARS

You treated me as a girlfriend
for a day or two,

Then I was a trophy
for a fool; you,

You messed with my head
and then broke my heart,

You said you loved me
then it began to start,

All the lies you began to say,
All the secrets you began to name,

I believed it all,
I'm now alone,

Now finally at the end
you tell the truth,

You never loved me
you never let it through,

I was just a pity girl
that you said you loved,

Only to make me happy
and then feel like a slug,

I feel so used
not that you'd ever care,

I feel so lonely
all because you're not here,

This is my farewell and goodbye
all because you made me cry

—Catie, 14

My sister is two years younger than I am. She dates and has a lot of friends. She’s always on the phone and is very much in demand. Although I have friends, good friends, and go out with them, my parents bug me cause I’m not as popular as my sister, why can’t I be more like her, like there’s something wrong with me cause I don’t have a boyfriend.
—Melody, 18

I’ve been hurt by a guy. It happened in my junior year. I’m over it now but at the time I thought I’d never get over it! I don’t think I am alone with this—it happens to high school students every day. Being a teenager isn’t easy, on top of dealing with our changing bodies, hormones, decisions for our future, etc. Putting relationship problems on top of that is very stressful.
—Amanda, 18

If someone tells you that you are too good for them, believe them.*

I think dating in high school is funny. I’ve seen people think they are in love one day and in love with someone else the next day. It is taken a lot more lightly than it should be. I think when people overuse the word love it just becomes cliché and meaningless.
—Ana, 17

In high school sex is a status symbol. The virgins are considered losers, the same as the sluts. It is discussed in every classroom at random until even the teachers are sneaking in innuendo.
—Danni, 17

If you’re lucky enough to come across an actual relationship and not just another gay boy, congratulations! A common misconception is that if two boys are gay, they should date. That would be like saying just because I have two straight friends that they should get married. Hello? That doesn’t work.
On that note, I have a best friend who is honestly a metro-area gay-boy directory. I just don’t know how she does it. She knows all gay people within like a hundred-mile radius. No one really knows how, either. It’s really funny. Anyway, she’s naïve enough to believe that I should meet and date each one she runs into. Well, I’ve met a few and all of about ONE of them worked out. For a week.
Please keep in mind when dating around: It takes all kinds. (And first dates are actually interviews in disguise! Ha!) Brace yourself.
—Alex, 17

Another hard thing for both Saul and me is that we don’t depend on welfare to pay our bill. We both work hard. We pay $400 for rent, about $20 for telephone, $100 for car insurance, $40 for groceries, $10 for laundry with $20 for gas and with $50 for our TV and about $30 for unexpected expenses. With all these bills it’s really hard to save money. I think the bills stress us out the most. (There’s no money to buy 3 pairs of sneakers or clothes every week. What we have is all we have.)
—Cristal, 17

I had fallen in love. Isn’t that the ultimate goal of every human being, even beyond success, fame, and money? To find “true” love? Isn’t that the end-all-be-all of the human experience? It was the most amazing and wonderful, fulfilling thing that had ever happened to me. Every sappy, melodramatic cliché about what love feels like is absolutely true. But when she finally left me, it was too much to deal with. I felt like I’d never be a whole person again.
—Isaac, 16

Most of my friends are sexually active. I personally am not. I chose that path before I even took the first step into high school. My reason for being a virgin is because of my religious background, family background, and I feel that I am too young to have a child.
—Jordan, 17

Being a mom is hard work, especially when you are a teen still in high school. I am 16 years old and I have a nine-month-old daughter named Krystal. Getting myself ready for school takes twice as long as it did before I became a mom because I have to get up at 5 am to get her ready, too.
In school I am faced with the pressure of lots of homework and then I have to come home and take care of my daughter’s needs. Children need all of your attention, so I dedicate all of my time, while she is awake, to her.
In school I am judged because I have a baby. I don’t think that is fair at all. Like the saying goes, you can’t judge a book from its cover. I don’t mind the judgments because I am happy going home to my daughter and looking at her smile. That is worth everything to me.
I want to stay in school and go to college so that I will have something to offer my daughter when she is a little older. It is so hard being a mom and in high school, but I don’t regret anything that I have done.
—Iris Hernandez, 16

*indicates material that was submitted anonymously

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