The High School Reality:
Unwritten Rules of High School

This page contains a special email we received from a 15-year-old named Sarah.

In my time as a High School student, I have noticed the following rules.

1) If you have a Senior in your class who is retaking it for credits to graduate, the teacher will give them breaks when it comes to deadlines and tests. In my Humanities class Freshmen year, the Seniors were allowed to take a condensed final so that they could participate in Graduation Rehearsals.

2) Ask questions when they come up. Don’t wait until the test day or when your studying for finals to discover that you don’t understand something. The teachers are not there to pass time. Ask them, even if you are intimidated or feel like you are wasting their time. Teaching is what they chose as a career, so be assertive, even if that means staying after class of coming in after school. It is worth it in the end.

3) Begin studying for finals a month before you will be taking them. There is usually an extended break like Thanksgiving or Winter Break before finals, use this time to begin your studying because teachers will undoubtedly begin talking about finals after you return from the break, and you will feel overwhelmed if you have not even begun to think about it, especially if you are a Freshmen because you do not know what to expect.

4) If you have questions about what will be on a final for a class, wait until after class or during Study Hall or Advocacy to ask them. This way you avoid being socially ostracized for showing concern for your grade.

5) Utalize free tutoring programs at your school, come with your questions and confusions. These programs are especially useful if you do not feel comfortable asking your teacher for help or if the way they discribed a concept confused you.

6) If you find that you despise your High School, consider your options. You can transfer to a different school, take summer school classes, take classes at your local Junior College, or you can simply plan your classes so that you graduate early, thereby minimizing your tenur there. Whatever you do, do not dwell on the horrible situation at the moment. Identify it and deal with it. See yourself beyond High School because however horrible it is, it is temporary, so begin to think about what you will do after High School. I find it helps me deal.

7) There will always be Popular Kids, Homecoming Nominations, and other popularity contests. If you find a group of real friends at school to help you get through the day and to have someone to talk to, you are the real winner, even if most of your friends go to other schools.

8) Rally contests are always won by Seniors and geared toward humiliating the Freshmen.

9) Freshmen year SUCKS! It is only one year of your life and the other years of high school are easier, at least socially.

10) Network. Find out who is in your classes at orientation and get to know each other, even if you only are friends through the class, get their numbers for emergancy questions on those assignments that are due the next day and effect your grade. These instances will undoubtedly arise throughout the year, even if you simply underestimate an assignment, it is always nice to know you have someone to call, and anyway, you are only human. Also, ask each other for help with difficult assignments. The saying that “Two Brains are Better than One” holds true throughout High School.

I learned these rules the hard way, and maybe someone out there will read them and learn from my mistakes.

NOTE: The following was sent in two weeks after the above piece was submitted:

Today one of my friends committed suicide. His name was Jon Field and he was 17. You can read more about him by clicking here. He was a very kind and friendly person. I have attached an article from the local newspaper. (See below.) So, I have another unwritten rule of High School:

11) Pay Attention to your friends and school mates, even the person who seems to have it all together (Like Jon) may feel hollow inside.

Like the other unwritten rules of high school that I have come to know, I learn this one the hard way.

—Sarah, 15

Carrillo student-athlete dead after apparent suicide

By Mary Callahan
The Press Democrat

The Maria Carrillo High School community once again is reeling from the loss of a student, this time the apparent suicide of senior scholar and athlete Jonathan Field. Field, 17, was found hanged in the garage of his family’s Rincon Valley home around 5 p.m. Wednesday, authorities said. A bright and promising student, Field was in the process of applying to some of the nation’s top universities and had been honored repeatedly as a scholar athlete, Maria Carrillo Principal Mark Klick said. He played soccer, basketball and tennis, even as he excelled in courses like calculus, oceanography, Advanced Placement physics and Advanced Placement English literature. Numerous Advanced Placement courses allowed him to earn a Grade Point Average “way over a 4.0,” Klick said.“He was a very bright kid, no doubt about it,” he said. Field also participated in a peer counseling and mentoring program at the school and was a tutor to elementary students, Klick said. Field’s parents, Pam and David Field, a yoga instructor and naturopath, have an older son, Michael Field, 20, a Carrillo grad and Brown University student.
Those who knew Jonathan described him as a sweet and friendly young man. His death follows closely the Nov. 20 death of 2004 Maria Carrillo graduate Brenna Fessenden, 20, who died in a bus rollover in Ghana. Among Field’s teammates on the Maria Carrillo soccer team last year was sophomore Garrett Fogg, who died July 1 after a seven-week battle with bacterial meningitis. As word spread of Field’s death Wednesday evening, students began gathering at the home of Fogg’s parents, Lisa and Greg, just so they could be somewhere together, said Lisa Fogg, whose daughter, Leanne, is a senior. “The kids were very quiet for a long time and just sat, and nobody had any answers,” Lisa Fogg said. “We just had questions of why and did anybody know anything.” Fogg said more than anything she hopes the kids will keep talking and communicating. “He had a great family and the most wonderful parents, and him, too,” Fogg said. “He’s a great kid.” Grief counselors are on campus today, and students have been free to wander in and out of class, talking with counselors in the library and gathering in the quad to begin their grieving, Klick said. “Everybody deals with it in a different way,” he said.

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