Sex, Sexuality & Dating

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Dating Violence

8.9% of students nationwide had been hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by their boyfriend or girlfriend in the previous 12 months.

Asking Someone Out

Increase your chance of success when asking someone out by doing the following:

• Get to know the person first. See if you have things in common and if you enjoy each other’s company.
• Ask early. Give the other person three to four days for informal dates (dinner, a movie, paintball)
• Don’t ask too early—like months or years in advance.
• Choose the right moment, preferably when the other person is not upset, distracted, rushed or surrounded by other people.
• Do the asking yourself. Avoid secondhand invitations through friends to avoid possible miscommunications, gossip, rumors or looking frightened and insecure.
• Go slowly. Do something low-key and informal, maybe with a group of friends. When your comfort level and friendship grows, you can go for a date with a capital D.
• Be specific about the day and event.
• Be positive. Avoid negative invitations: “You wouldn’t want to go, would you?”
• Be up-front about money and which expenses you can cover.
  —Alex Packer

from How Rude: The Teenagers’ Guide to Good Manners, Proper Behavior and Not Grossing People Out (Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Publishing, 1997), 246-248.

You’re gay. Should you come out?

The decision to come out is a significant one, especially when you’re a teen. Some teens who come out are harassed and experience violence at homeå or at school. Some teens are kicked out of the house or are forced to run away. These things don’t happen to everyone, but it’s important to seriously consider your safety and well-being before coming out.
But there are many positive aspects about coming out. You can live your life openly and meet other GLBTQ people (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning). Many GLBTQ teens say being out feels liberating. It can be very empowering to be honest about who you are.
Some teens choose to come out, but that doesn’t mean you have to. In fact, in some cases, coming out might not be the best decision, at least for now.
—Kelly Huegel

from GLBTQ: The Survival Guide for Queer and Questioning Teens (Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Publishing, 2005), 42, 45.

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