For a bookmark-friendly version of this page, click here. Then bookmark this page.

 

The High School Reality

The book icon denotes material you will find in the book. Some shorter quotes are not marked.

Check it out

Ever wonder why, in so many high school classes, we sit in straight rows of desks, with everyone doing the same things at the same time? Well, if you go back a few years—when schools were training large numbers of kids to go to work in factories—an emphasis on uniformity and behaviors like compliance, conformity, hard work and obedience made sense. Now, things like individuality, independence, initiative, freedom and flexibility, which, back then were seen as threatening, and were strongly discouraged, are the very traits many business leaders are looking for in today’s information society! Schools just haven’t caught up.

See the connection?

class in olden days, seated in rows
old-time factory

For years, some teachers have tried to find a perfect way to teach. There is no perfect way. All they can do it try to help as many students as they can. The problem is that not everybody learns at the same pace. Some catch onto things fast, some take more time to catch on, and some often do not catch on at all. Because there are usually more kids in the middle category than there are in the others, teachers often aim their teaching at the kids in the middle—the ones who take time to catch on but do catch on. That leaves the others bored, angry or both.
—Terry Dunnahoo

The unwritten rules of high school

The following “rules” reflect the experiences and realities of contributors to thre book and may well be real for large numbers of students. However, they are not suggestions for how to survive high school. In fact, many of these “rules” can limit our joy and success and can diminish the high school experience.

  • Don’t do anything to really make you stand out of the norm. Care about grades, but not too much, and don’t over achieve (Getting an A or better is not a good thing in many students’ eyes).
  • Do not piss off the popular kids. Age or grade level does affect your degree of “coolness.” Be different, but not too different. Be smart, but not too smart. Be opinionated, but not too opinionated.
  • If you show that teasing or rumors get to you, it never stops! Always act confident. Never let them see that they are getting to you. Keep to yourself and keep your legs closed and everyone will get along.
  • Keep the stories of drinking and drugs to yourself.
  • NEVER RAT!
  • Keep your mouth shut and you’ll be just fine.
  • The security guards are allowed to have an attitude with students.
  • Don’t wear the same outfit more than once a week. If you have nothing worth saying, don’t say anything at all.
  • Make as many friends as you can and keep on everybody’s good side.
  • Mind your own business, avoid trouble.
  • To not take anything seriously or I’ll never make it out alive.
  • Fit into a group.
  • There’s no such thing as “blending in” or being invisible. Everyone’s watching everybody, looking for weaknesses to exploit, or strengths to emulate.
  • You’re gonna get picked on as a freshman. Just deal with it, cause then you’re gonna pick on the freshmen when you get bigger. It’s just sort of like a rite of passage.

What other rules have you noticed? Tell us so we can add it to the list.

Stories about the reality of high school.

Resources dealing with the realities of high school.

Got a story? Tell us. Click here to find out how.

Click here to order a copy of this book.

Main Tips & Facts directory & links
Other tips and facts: The Reality | Image & Identity | Friendship & Belonging | Sex, Sexuality & Dating | Violence & Safety | Body & Health | Coping & Change | Responsibilities & Pressures | Parents & Teachers | Lifelines & Goals | Purpose & Perspective

Scholarship availableView our Privacy Policy

Back
© 2005, 2008, Jane Bluestein, Ph.D. and Eric Katz, M.S.A.C., High School’s Not Forever. Last updated on February 23, 2009 10:46 AM