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Safety and Violence in High School


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The hardest thing to do is tell. You have to stay strong. I had to leave a lot of friends, but that’s something I’ve got to deal with. I knew I couldn’t let those guys get away with what they did. If I can come forward, so can anyone.
—Sean O’Brien, target of high school hazing

There’s no Such Thing as an Innocent Bystander

Bullying* is a public event. The person doing the aggression has to get a pat on the back. Cheering a bully on is like pouring gasoline on a fire.
indent spacerIf the audience does not respond positively, or actually responds negatively (“I don’t want any part of this.” “What a stupid thing to do.” “You’re gonna get yourself in trouble. I’m leaving!”), the bullying behavior loses a lot of power. If the majority of bystanders do this, there’s a good chance that the whole thing could blow over. Telling the bully to stop is even more effective than just walking away.
indent spacerYou really can stop bullying and aggression. Making it cool to be nice rather than being cool to fight is a great place to start.
If you believe that standing up to a bully will put you at risk—and in some situations it can do just that—you can still help by becoming an ally of the person being picked on. Simply being nice to kids who are the targets of aggression or teasing, being accepting of them or acknowledging them, can make a tremendous difference.
indent spacerAnd anything you can do to help validate their experience (“Wow. That was pretty harsh!” “He had no right to say/do that to you.” “Boy, you didn’t deserve that!”) can provide more support than you can imagine.

Bystanders aren’t innocent. Do something positive to make a difference.

*We’re not just talking about a physical fight. This term also includes verbal arguments, mean-spirited teasing, putting somebody down, or any act of aggression that compromises the safety of the person being targeted!

Most of the time kids pick on others because of their own insecurities. For example, there was a kid in my class who would make fun of other kids calling them fat, when he was overweight himself, but because he was still “popular” it was excused and no one would dare make fun of him.
—Ashley, 19

Most conflicts start on the weekends or out of school and finish as a fight in school.*

Guns make their way to school—in the hands of over 135,000 children nationwide every day.

Homophobia affects not only homosexual students, but students with a homosexual parent, sibling or friend.Homophobia compromises physical and emotional safety in school for thousands of students, gay and straight.

64% of high school students have heard a student at their school threaten to kill someone.
75% did not take it seriously.
73% did not report it to a teacher or other adult

Stories about violence and safety in high school.

Resources dealing with issues of safety and violence.

Got a story? Tell us. Click here to find out how.

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© 2005, 2008, Jane Bluestein, Ph.D. and Eric Katz, M.S.A.C., High School’s Not Forever. Last updated on February 23, 2009 10:46 AM